Let’s Talk: Body Confidence

Lifestyle

Body confidence.

Uhhhhiegfiesbdj. Even just writing those two words down and seeing them staring back at me makes my toes begin to curl up, which no doubt will shortly be followed by the rest of my body until I’m balled up like a little kitten. I want to start by saying that I had many reservations about writing this post; though I never know where a post is going to take me when I begin rambling, I know from the outset that a topic such as this is quite a sensitive one, one that is subject to many an opinion. It is also quite personal and will require me to chat openly to whoever is reading about my own experiences. It is only too often these days that when an individual tries to talk about body confidence, they are met with resounding groans and twenty-plus eye-rolls. That in itself is an issue.

Living in an age and society as we do, it is only fair to say that humans are their own downfall. The majority of huge social and political issues stand at the foreground of human ignorance. I think that body confidence is no different. This obsession (that only leads to remind me of that weird Black Mirror episode where every single person was judged on their social media platforms) with our online presence is beyond unhealthy but sadly, I think the effects are irreversible. Pre-conceptions of ‘beauty’ and appearance are damaging the mentality of (particularly) young children and adolescents. I’m fully aware that a post of this nature could come across as “preachy” so, to avoid that as best as I can, I’m going to chat about my own experience with body confidence, or lack thereof.

Honestly, I’d never had any major run-ins with the body police (the ones in my brain lol) until about two years ago. Up until then, I hadn’t really worried TOO much about it. Of course, I’d envied my friend’s long legs over my little stubby ‘I-have-to-take-three-strides-for-every-one-of-your-steps’ legs, or the way another friend could pull off a bandeau mini-dress because they weren’t a card-holder of the itty-bitty-titty-committee like myself, but all in all, I tried not to let it affect me in any way. I’ve always been petite, at 5ft 2, and had never felt out of proportion growing up.

Having had a ponder, I really think that what got me questioning my body confidence was starting university and turning 18. In particular, going out (both at home and at uni). I have never been (and never will be) someone who owns 20 different mini-dresses and matching pairs of heels. I am a jean-loving, trainer-wearing gal who, 9 times out of 10, is always in an oversized sweatshirt or t-shirt. That’s not to say that I’ve never been confident in my body, rather that I tend to favour comfort over anything else (stylish comfort, of course!!). Let me a paint you a nice little picture. An average night-out outfit for me is a pair of black jeans and some form of a crop top with a pair of converse or another variety of trainer. Don’t get me wrong, I do like to make an effort with my makeup and hair (hopefully making me look slightly nicer than I do having just made it in time for my 9am). So, naturally, the words “dressing up” cause alarm bells to start ringing…pretty loudly. Most of my friends absolutely love dressing up and use going out as an excuse to wear their newest dresses/jumpsuits (and so they bloody well SHOULD as they look like angels) when in reality, I can think of nothing worse. I actually get the fear when my friends try to take pictures with me on a night out because I know for a fact, regardless of whether I do look it or not, I will feel sub-standard standing next to them. Even wearing clothes similar to them, I kind of feel like a fraud, as if someone has over-taken my body and made me squeeze into this tiny outfit that in no way makes me feel good and subsequently, doesn’t make me look good. My friends will tell you that I am THE WORST person to take pictures of or with, because I just pick myself apart in every single one. I think being put in a situation where people assume you have “made an effort” to look your best, automatically invites in other peoples’ judgement, if an image is shared on social media, for example. You don’t know what your friend Chloe’s-auntie’s-friend-from-high-school is saying about your hair or your outfit. In reality, Chloe’s-auntie’s-friend-from-high-school probably doesn’t care the slightest bit that your leg’s at a weird angle or one of your eyes looks slightly bigger than the other. Whilst I KNOW this to be the case, it is harder convincing the irrational, negative part of your brain that 24/7.

These pictures show just one example of my struggle with body confidence. Now, I absolutely hate my arms. I know that’s a weird thing to hate but I rarely wear strappy tops that mean the tops of my arms are out. For some reason, I thought it would be a great idea to purchase a dress with spaghetti straps for my course’s end of year party. You don’t even know how many pictures I had to take before I was finally KIND OF ACCEPTING of one of them. I felt so inadequate compared to how the rest of my friend’s looked and felt heavy and uncomfortable with my body in every photo. Even now, I still look at pictures from that night and pick out the parts about myself that I don’t like, that were only exaggerated by wearing something I didn’t feel like myself in. I also tend to ‘size up’ in a lot of my clothes, though my ‘correct size’ is usually one size down from what I end up buying. This is a habit I’ve let myself fall into as I really don’t tend to like form-fitting clothes as you can see every lil lump and bump. I know if my Mom is reading this she’ll be saying “oh don’t be stupid, you don’t have any lumps or bumps” but  the only way I can describe it is like this: you know when you have a spot on your face and every time you look in the mirror your attention is drawn to it and you feel like it’s ruining the whole vibe your face was going for today? However, when you mention it to your friend they say “oh, I didn’t even notice you had a spot”. I think that’s how it is with your body. I ended up sizing down and getting my ‘correct’ size in this dress, which only made it cling to me more and as a result, made me dislike it that much more. This should have been a fun time, but instead, I couldn’t stop thinking about how uncomfortable and wary of myself I was.

It does make me sad that I can feel this way as I’m such an advocate for seeing the beauty in people. I think all of my friends are honestly the most gorgeous people, inside and out, and I will always be the first person to jump in and tell them they look fab or tell them they’re being stupid for talking negatively about themselves. SO WHY is it so hard to do the same for yourself???? I think the main thing that I do which I definitely should stop doing is comparing myself to others. Now, I know that many people complain about the Instagram explore page promoting unreachable standards of perfection, showcasing the most beautiful girls and best looking guys. However, this is not the type of comparison I’m talking about. I KNOW that if you take a picture in a certain light and from a certain angle that it can make you look a lot thinner than you are, or create a shadowed set of abs. I’m not naive to think that I will ever be a Victoria’s Secret catwalk model or have a figure like Tammy Hembrow’s, rather I end up comparing myself to people I know. I can vividly remember studying one of my friend’s faces and picking out every feature of theirs that I was envious of, or that I felt was better than mine. How utterly awful is that?? The funny thing is that the majority of the time, if you turned around to someone and said “god, I’d kill to have cheekbones like yours” or “I wish my lips were like yours” they will repay the compliment to you and say that they want your cheekbones and your lips. This just goes to show that just because you like the way someone looks, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they do. If you think about, you have to see your own face and body every single day. Surely, even if you stared at the nicest face or the most perfect body every day for the rest of your life, you’d get bored of it or start to notice the tiniest of ‘imperfections’.

I do agree that a happy person is a beautiful person and that (no matter how cheesy) true beauty is found in happiness (thank you to Roald Dahl for teaching us all that sacred lesson). I think when you’re happy and secure in yourself, it glows out of you like a beacon of light and people around you just know. Like, yeah, she’s/he’s loving their life. I think there are days when I feel that happiness but there are most definitely still days where I question my body and its worth. I have, however, learnt that most of the pressure that I’ve been putting on my body to look and feel a certain way is pressure that has been generated purely by myself and not by others. My body shouldn’t need to look a certain way for other people, my body should be for me and if anyone ever tries to tell you any different, they are so wrong. Feeling as if you need to look a certain way to fit into the “trend” of what is desirable is something that happens far too often. Health comes first and with it, happiness.

Body confidence is definitely a journey and I’m currently sat on the train (probably eating some form of snack I cannot lie), chugging along at a steady pace.

Let me know how you deal with body confidence issues as I find it super interesting hearing other peoples’ perspectives on topics such as this one. Once again, a little ramble for you all, but I hope you enjoyed it all the same.

Love always,

G X

Instagram: @geeblogs

A Little Catch Up #2

Lifestyle

Helloooooo lovely people!!!

What’s this? A blog post??? An actual, fully published blog post? I know, I’m as shocked as you are. I have returned (again)!! I think it’s pretty safe to say at this point that I simply cannot uni and blog at the same time. I thought I was a great multi-tasker (and don’t get me wrong, I still tell everybody I am) buuuuuut that’s evidently not the case. I think a little life update is welllllll over-due as I owe you an explanation for my complete lack of blogging over the past few months (I’m the absolute worst).

Where have I been?!?!

So uni is hard. I can’t lie to you, second year has hit me like a tonne of bricks. Through many a late night in the library and emotional breakdown, I have finally seen the light at the end of tunnel in the form of my summer holiday.  I have had the CRAZIEST final semester of second year, which, realistically, I only have myself to blame for. Something inside of me thought auditioning for a musical, co-directing an MT showcase whilst having two performance exams within the space of two weeks was a fab idea???? Ok honey pie, nice one. Looking back now, I don’t regret a single second but, if you’d have asked me at the time how I was feeling, I may have burst into tears as a result of the stress (lol). So many of my friends would come up to me and say “I really don’t know how you’re doing it all” and my response was NEITHER DO I. That being said, I thought it would be cute to give you a little insight into what I’ve been up to uni-wise in 2018.

The Wedding Singer

One of the biggest parts of my year so far has to be the university musical. This year I was fortunate enough to have been cast as Julia in our production of The Wedding Singer (you’ve probs seen the film. A baby-faced Drew Barrymore wearing a hideous selection of 80’s clothing and Adam Sandler being…well, Adam Sandler). The rehearsals for this show took up SO MUCH of my time, I practically disappeared for a while. Luckily, most of my friends were also involved in the production so it didn’t mean that I was missing out on spending time with them – we were all just being little hermits together. All in all, it was an amazing experience and I loved every part of it. Post-show blues are still in full force.

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The Last Five Years

As soon as The Wedding Singer ended, I hopped straight into rehearsals for The Last Five Years, where I was lucky enough to have been given the opportunity to play Cathy, a character on my musical theatre bucket-list (who, realistically, I never thought I’d get the chance to play)!! This was a really special production for me because this show has always been one of my all-time faves so getting to be a part of it was honestly incredible. It also allowed me to step out of my comfort zone and work with a group of brand spanking new people who turned out to be a bunch of absolute angels. Whilst this show came about at an incredibly stressful time for me, it was the release I needed to stay SANE so I’m super thankful for that.

Socialisin’ (Well, trying)

I like to think that I’m quite the social butterfly, especially when it comes to uni. BUT I’ve most definitely been in hibernation over the past ten weeks or so which makes me sad. That being said, there were a few events/birthdays/REQUIRED FRIEND TIME situations I could not say no to. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the people I have met at university are honest-to-God some of the best people I know. Whenever I’m stressing (which is a lot I cannot lie to you) or upset, they genuinely lift me up so much. Sooooo of course, a night out or two is necessary every once in a while (or twice in a while, or three times in a while…).

 

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Exams, Exams, Exams

This semester I really had to wise up and realise that however much I liked being sociable or however much my course could frustrate me at times, I, in actual fact, enrolled at university to get a degree and getting a degree required taking EXAMS (*noise of someone vomming*).  As I study Theatre, as well as essay-writing for coursework, we also have performance exams (as you’d expect) which require, you guessed it, MORE rehearsals. Here’s a little sneak-peek into the average conversation of mine:

Friend 1: Hey G, we’re going for drinks at 7. Do you wanna come?

Me: Ohhhh I totally would but I have rehearsals.

Friend 2: Hiiiiii, you going out later?

Me: I wanted to but I’ve got rehearsals!

Friend 3: Shopping tomorrow?

Me: REHEARSALS.

You get the idea. I’m honestly a broken record of “sorry I can’t, I’ve got rehearsals” and this semester was no exception. I was rehearsing for 4 different performances at the same time. ARE THERE EVEN THAT MANY DAYS IN THE WEEK?!?!?! (Overdramatic moment. Can confirm my awareness that there are in fact seven days in a week). I had an experimental theatre performance, a dance performance, The Last Five Years and the musical theatre Summer Showcase allllll going on at once. Honestly am amazed I made it out alive. Chin bloody chin to me.

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Shindiggin’

And fiiiiiinally, I attended the end of year celebration for my course, which we call Shindig. This is where everybody studying for a Theatre degree, across all the years, gets together and – to put it bluntly – have a massive piss-up. It’s always a looooovely affair, with everyone dressing up and making an effort (which is rare for my jeans and trainer-lovin’ self). This year there was major stress around dress shopping, not only for me but some of my friends too. Admittedly, going into town THE DAY BEFORE the event with no backup options is not the smartest of moves (which I found out mid-meltdown in the Topshop dressing rooms) buuuut eventually I settled on this little gold number from Topshop. It retails at £26 (which my student budget was thankful for) and I have linked it for you because I am an angel. Although it wouldn’t have been my first choice in an ideal world for this particular event, I ended up being a pretty happy gal and having a fab night. Shindig also involved a very great moment for me when I won the “most likely to always have a glass of wine in their hand” award. Proud.

 

 

So there you have all my excuses for being a terrible blogger. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me (lol) and hopefully you’ll love all the content I’m planning on uploading over this summer. I’m really wanting to get more into the beauty blogging realm, posting makeup looks so do let me know if that’s something you’d want to see/read. However, I am going to Portugal on a girly trip with my lovely Mom next week so keep your eyes peeled for some (fingers crossed) pretty, scenic pics on the old Instagram (follow me: @geeblogs) and potentially a post on here too.

Have a lush week & I hope to be back very soon (look at me being all non-committal and not making promises that I’ll break…I’m learning!!!!).

G X

Instagram: @geeblogs

Twitter: @geeheasel

1 Year…

Lifestyle

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When I started my blog, it was initially meant as a means for me to have a little space on the internet where I could word vomit whatever was clogging up my brain at certain points in my life. I was sat in my exceptionally tiny university room, probably trying to avoid writing an essay, when I decided to bite the bullet, to take the plunge. For want of a better phrase, I grew some balls and published my first blog post. I can still remember the thoughts that ran through my head as soon as I’d clicked the ‘Publish’ button; I’m pretty sure they went something like this: Shit. Oh dear. Georgia, what have you done? Take it back, take it back, take it back. Buuuuut, your gal persevered and I couldn’t be happier.

The amount of support I’ve received is absolutely crazy: I’ve had people that I have never met sending me messages about how much they love reading my rambly words and weird opinions. To me, this is kind of incomprehensible as I’m just a massively uncool, sarcastic 19-year-old who laughs her way through life. Even the very idea that people read my blog for actual enjoyment makes no sense to me. When I first started out, I thought my readers would consist entirely of my friends who felt obliged to read what I was writing and although I know this is most definitely the case (big thanks to all my pals – you are angels and I appreciate you reading about my haircare routine when I know you really could not care less), there are also so many people reading across the entire WORLD. I have people reading my blog in THAILAND???!! I mean whaaaaat???

One of my first posts was called “Being Happy” where I outlined how important I felt it was for me to explore who I was at the time and who I could potentially be in the future, if I was brave enough to stop caring about what other people thought of me. A huge part of this was publicising my blog in the first place. Not many people know that I actually had an anonymous blog for around 2 years prior to starting ‘georgiaheaselgrave.com’ and was reluctant to tell anybody about it due to the fear of what people might think. If you followed my blog last year, you’ll know that I tried really hard to overcome this fear. Moving to university has really helped with my own self-confidence and self-belief and has given me the opportunity to explore who I want to be. Blogging has become a big part of my life and I couldn’t be happier that I took the leap and made it public.

I just wanted to say a massive thank you to every single person who has read any one or all of my posts. Without you, I would most likely not be blogging anymore and would have shed serious tears over the fact that my Mom was my only reader (lol, love you Mom).

Happy 1st birthday to my little blog!! I look forward to rambling excessively for many more years to come.

All the love,

G X

Instagram: @geeblogs

(Kind Of) March Faves

Lifestyle

Hi. Hey. Hello. Bonjour. Salut. Ciou Adios I’m done. Me again.

I. Am. Back.

You may (or may not) have noticed that I’ve taken a little (slightly more than little) vacay from the old blogging world over the past few weeks (*cough* months *cough*) but do not fear – your gal is back. The suitcases are unpacked, the passport is away and I’m ready to write something that I hope turns out to be a little more than average. It’s been pretty crazy which meant that sadly my lil blog had to go into hibernation for a short while but the time has come for me to saddle up and get back on the horse (is that a saying or have I just made that up????). When I was thinking about how to break the seal – for want of a better phrase – it occurred to me that I haven’t posted a ‘monthly faves’ since OCTOBER last year so, naturally, here I am writing one. I’ll hold my hands up now, I may slightly cheat and include a few things that I’ve been loving throughout the past few months instead of just March as I haven’t written one of these posts in so long (pls forgive me and still love me).

What I’ve Been Wearing

 

Over the past month, I have been reaching for this pair of black flares a lot. I actually bought them a while ago but didn’t get much wear out of them to start with. Although now, if I’m going to any ‘smart-cas’ event, these trousers are an immediate go-to. They’re super flattering and obviously go with pretty much any top I’m feeling. I recently wore them to a Glitterbomb event at my Students’ Union where Alyssa Edwards from RPDR was performing (yaaaaas!!). These trousers are a pretty flexible piece: they can be dressed down, with a cute cropped t-shirt and converse or if you whack on a little halter-neck and heels, you’re ready for a night of boogie-ing somewhere slightly more upmarket than your SU.

What I’ve Been Watching

So my biggest TV obsession over the past few months has 100% been Grey’s Anatomy. I cannot lie to you, (this even impresses myself) I managed to finish all 13 seasons available on Amazon within a two and a half week period (slightly embarrassed, slightly proud). I just bloody loved everything about the show – the amount of times I was sat in my room sobbing like an absolute loser with nothing better to do on a Friday night was not ok. I fell in love with all of the characters and honestly felt slightly lost once I’d reached the end.

Aside from GA, I also watched Victoria. If you know me, you’ll know my two favourite types of TV programmes are crime-related or historical dramas. Whack anything on that is set in any era from the past and I am your gal. So, when I saw Victoria had come onto Netflix, I was probably more happy than any regular person would have been. I’d been wanting to watch it when it first came out on ITV but I never found the time during my first year at uni. I watched the entire first season within the space of a few days then ordered the Season 2 DVD from Amazon straight away. I’m so obsessed with Jenna Coleman and when I found out that she is actually dating her co-star Tom Hughes I may have cried a little bit (with joy). Cannot WAIT for Season 3.

What I’ve Been Listening To

 

Where to even begin with the music I’ve been listening to…although I can’t lie, it’s pretty much all been MT (what’s new??). I’m currently in rehearsals for a production of ‘The Last Five Years’ so have been using that as an excuse to get my daily dose of being serenaded by Jeremy Jordan. My go-to picks are ‘Shiksa Goddess’ and ‘If I Didn’t Believe in You’. I’ve also been obsessing over Lin & Ben Platt’s ‘Found/Tonight’ collab which is just too dreamy for words. Aside from this, Dogfight has been played on the reg – I espeically love ‘Come to a Party’ and ‘First Date / Last Night’.

What I’ve Been Using

Beauty-wise, I haven’t really been Captain Adventurous throughout 2018 so far. I got a few makeup bits for Christmas which have made their way into my daily routine, but other than that it’s been pretty samey. Having said that, I’ve fallen slightly in love with two products in particular: the Too Faced Just Peachy Mattes palette (which I’m preeeetty sure I’ve spoken about before) and the Cover FX Highlighting Drops. I’ll insert a few pics where I’ve used both of these products – although they’re both on the slightly spenny side of life, they’re most definitely worth the investment!!

 

What I’ve Been Doing

I don’t even know to where to begin. I feel like I’ve blinked and 3 months have flown by. It’s been another whirlwind semester at university, with the majority of my time being taken up by rehearsals (nothing new here friends). I performed in Musical Theatre Society’s production of ‘The Wedding Singer’ at the beginning of March, whilst also beginning rehearsals for Music and Drama Society’s ‘The Last Five Years’ which opens in May.  Due to all these rehearsals, my social life has boarded the hibernation train but I’ve slowly been starting to feel it waking up over the past few weeks or so. HOWEVER, in true Georgia style, I couldn’t say no to a few nights out here and there.

My brother turned 21 last week so (naturally) there were celebrations. My family and I went to London for the day, watched School of Rock and ate reaaaaally good food. I’m taking him to see Kinky Boots this weekend which I’m also super excited about!! I’m now on Easter break and am so looking forward to being an absolute slob, trying to make my way through as many TV series as humanly possible in the few weeks I have off.

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I hope you all have a lovely Easter weekend & enjoy relaxing over the break. (Virtually) see you – hopefully – very soon!

All the love,

G X

Instagram: @geeblogs

Women Are F**king Fabulous

Lifestyle

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In light of it being International Women’s Day today, I thought I would write a little post emphasising what it means to me to be a woman in this day and age – in particular, paying homage to all of the women who have lived before me and those who will live after me. Although I reflect on this each IWD, this year seems slightly more prominent due to the endless campaigning surrounding the ‘#MeToo’ movement combined with other stories being published in the media covering similar topics.

Having grown up in a family with three brothers and no sisters, I’ve always viewed both genders as equal. If my brothers were playing outside, I wanted to play outside. If my brothers had to finish their broccoli before being allowed dessert, I had to do the same. If my brothers were wrestling with each other, you can bet I was there too throwing a good punch or five. What I’m trying to say is that I never received any preferential treatment or felt that I couldn’t do something that the boys could do because I was a ‘girl’. This mindset has most definitely followed me into my teenage years and early adulthood. I’m such a firm believer in it being possible to achieve anything you want in life, if you put the right amount of work in. I don’t think gender even comes into play. I feel fortunate enough to say that personally, at this point in my life, I have never felt oppressed because of my gender but I’m not naive to the fact that once I get into the workplace, this may change, which alone saddens me. Why should I be worried that I won’t be as valued in the workplace as a male? Why should I be earning less money than a male for doing exactly the same job as them? I’ve never been able to grasp the concept that whatever sits between your legs determines what you can do in life and in all honesty, I don’t think I’ll ever understand it. I’m also not blind to the fact that things like the gender pay gap can’t be changed overnight but what I want to see is movement towards this development happening.

Each IWD I like to think about all of the women who have inspired me to become a badass, independent gal who has her life together (still waiting for this to happen). As cliché as it might be, my Mom is top of that list. When she was just a little bit older than myself, my Mom moved two hours away from her family home to work in a completely new town and build a life for herself. From there, she went on to have four children spanning from age 6 to newborn whilst STILL WORKING – she honestly is a real-life Supermom. I do not know how she juggles everything and makes it look so effortless – she has never once compromised her career or her family for the alternative but has somehow managed to happily succeed in both. THAT is what I want to be and do when it’s my turn.

I think it’s so important to recognise these stand-out women in our lives who help us shift and grow until we end up on our little paths in life, heading to where we need to be. Women are f**king fabulous. We are strong-minded, intelligent, warm and loving souls who somehow manage to carry the weight of a whole other human inside of us, helping them grow and giving them life which I think is pretty incredible (!!!!!!!) whilst also kicking absolute ass in any career path we choose to pursue. Women should celebrate each other: the successes and even the failures because as a collective, we genuinely are unstoppable. It’s crucial that our generation of women stick together and become a driving force that allows the females who will follow us to swim in a pool of proudness at the thought of being a woman.

I’m super proud to be a woman.

G x

The “Theatre Degree” Stigma

Lifestyle

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A few things have happened recently that have awoken the little voice inside my head that likes to come out and rant every now and then. The constant threat of funding cuts to the arts and the disappearance of subjects such as Music and Drama from GCSE option boxes across the country are just two of the reasons why I wanted to write this post. Recently, my friend Sophie performed an autobiographical piece about the injustice that undercurrents the education system, in terms of the prejudice that surrounds Theatre as both a subject and a potential career path. Her ‘political rant’ resonated a lot with me, making me think about the many times I’ve been made to feel slightly (I hate to say it but) ashamed of my choice to study Theatre at university.

When it came to choosing my degree subject almost 3 years ago now (oh my gaaaad, where has the time gone?!) there was an obvious winner in my mind from the outset. Yes, I attended Law talks at Warwick and even a Psychology open day at Cambridge, but my heart always led me back to Theatre. Anyone who knows me will understand how important a role the theatre has played in my life and these are the people who have never once questioned my decision to further my education in this field. That being said, there is definitely a prominent stigma around studying for a Theatre degree or particularly around the people who study for a Theatre degree and that is something I have always found ridiculous.

Historically, the subject of Theatre Studies has been branded as “fluffy” and has yet to be viewed on the same level in terms of difficulty as other more traditional subjects, such as Geography or Maths. Therefore, the assumption that the people studying for a Theatre degree are “less academic” and “less able” has been cemented amongst the minds of the majority. However, the stereotype that someone who enjoys learning about the theatre industry is less intelligent than someone who enjoys studying continental drift or trigonometry is honestly absurd to me. If I had a pound for the amount of times I’ve received a patronising “oh, how nice” or “oh, so do you want to be like an actress or something?” after revealing that I study Theatre at university, I would be a veeeeery rich gal.

People don’t seem to understand that my course is academic (trust me, at times it is too academic!!!). I’m still submitting essays at the end of every module, reading ridiiiiiiculous amounts of academic writing each week and attending seminars and workshops. On top of this, I am rehearsingBeing a theatre student, you are not only assessed theoretically but also practically which comes with the assumption that you will carry out a set number of hours as ‘rehearsal time’. Quite honestly, I think I spend 90% of my life rehearsing for something or other (and that is not me being an overdramatic drama student, I promise). I would absolutely loooove to invite the people who have this preconception of Theatre as a subject to sit in on one of my seminars and give their opinion on how phenomenology affects an audience’s experience or how romanticism conformed to or subverted the avant-garde movement towards postmodernism (literally just throwing all the big words that I know at you now lol).

It really does sadden me that I feel as if I have to justify my decision to study a subject that I love to other people who are too quick to judge. Theatre makes me happy. Theatre interests me. Theatre makes me want to learn. So, why shouldn’t I study for a degree in it? Because it’s not ‘academic’? Because I’m ‘never going to get a real job’? Or because I’ll ‘never have a stable income’? My response to these questions is one of self-fulfilment in the sense that I know for a fact that whatever job I do end up doing, in whichever part of the industry I decide to go into, I’ll be doing it because I love it, not because I have to be doing it. Whilst this may be an unpopular opinion of the minority, I would much rather live a life where I’m potentially not always in a constant flow of work, but when I am working it’s doing something that I’m passionate about, rather than being stuck in a 9-5 office job that I absolutely despise. I find it so disheartening when I hear people say “you’re not supposed to love your job…that’s why it’s called work,” because, honestly, I don’t see anything wrong with wanting to enjoy what you do.

Another thing that really makes me laugh is that the people who undermine Theatre as a career choice will have a favourite film, or a favourite book, or will enjoy going to watch the pantomime at Christmas, or a musical on Broadway, or will watch every ITV drama under the sun. What they don’t seem to understand is that THEATRE PEOPLE HAVE MADE THESE THINGS HAPPEN!! The industry is one that brings constant enjoyment to the lives of (may be generalising here but I’m going to roll with it) everyone, or has done at least once in their lifetime. That’s why it makes me so sad that as theatre students, it feels like we’re fighting this constant battle to defend our subject to those so quick to undermine it.

I feel as if I have fully just word-vommed onto the page but I thought it was important to fight my little corner about a subject I’m super passionate about and love with allllll ma heart.

(Also just want to take a few words to defend all my fellow Theatre guys and gals. The people that I study with and others that I know who study elsewhere are honestly some of the best, most intelligent people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Their creativity is OFF THE SCALE and their knowledge literally pours out of them every time they speak. All the love ever).

G X

A Little Catch Up

Lifestyle

I am the absolute worst for going AWOL and hibernating when I’m working on a particular project, completing ignoring everything else around me. What I mean by this is that I have been sat, staring at my laptop screen, for up to 8 hours a day over the past two weeks, attempting to type some words onto a page that will enable me to pass my degree…yep, you’ve got it…the dreaded deadline season. If I’m being completely honest, the last thing I wanted to do after an entire day of writing was to write some more…hence, my little blogging break. I thought, now that I’m assignment-free, it would be cute to catch up and fill you guys in on what I’ve been doing and how I’ve been (just about) surviving.

What I’ve Been Doing

In all honesty, the new year has seen many days of me wrapped up in my duvet, binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy and snacking excessively. I’ve been extremely lacking in productivity but have actually really enjoyed having some chilled time-off after what was an extremely emotionally turbulent semester at university. I’ve spent time catching up with my home-girls (not trying to sound cool, just unsure what to label my group of friends from home lol) which has been super nice. They know I’m one of the worst people when it comes to replying to group chat messages (orrrrr even texts that have been sent directly to me) but whenever I’m home it is as if nothing has changed. We celebrated my friend Harriet’s 20th birthday with food (yes) and cocktails (YES) which was a very cute night. I was also able to be reunited with my lovely friend Charl who abandoned me 3 years ago to live in Devon (still not ok!!!!) which again really was the best.

How I’ve Been Feeling

I’ve been feeling goooood. Life is currently at that stage where I have nothing going on for the next week so I can just chill, relax and spend time with my family before I start second semester. This break really has been needed (I mean…really needed). I was struggling a lot at uni before the Christmas break – I felt as if someone was standing with a gun pointed at me, but instead of bullets they were shooting big, SCARY, adult decisions at me that needed to be made quickly. Now, I am a pretty good decision-maker – if I may say so myself – but I like to have a lot of time to process what the consequences of each particular decision may be as change scares the ever-loving shit out of me (which you’ll know if you’ve read any of my previous lifestyle-y posts). So, when I was faced with 3 essays, 2 presentations, an 8-minute solo performance, auditions, co-directing a full-scale musical theatre showcase, rehearsals, homesickness, budgeting, meetings, housing decisions, placement decisions, course decisions, LIFE DECISIONS…yeah, my brain pretty much said no thanks Georgia, not today. I’m pretty sure (and this is going to be 100% a self-diagnosis) that I was – and potentially am still – having a quarter-life crisis (is this a thing????? Probs not). I’m turning 20 this year and I found myself thinking ‘What am I doiNGGG?!?!!?’ I was feeling unhappy more than I was feeling happy which has never happened to me before. This impacted everything I was doing: I didn’t want to go out with my friends but then I would be sad that I didn’t go out with my friends, I wanted to be at home all the time, I wasn’t enjoying my lectures, everything was just a little bit crazy. Now I’ve had time to step away from the situation I honestly think I was just putting too much pressure on myself – so much so, that I was sucking the enjoyment out of everything I normally enjoyed doing. Hence, the hibernation station I’ve had going on this holiday. Although I’m not jumping for joy at the prospect of returning to uni next week (however I am BLOODY EXCITED to see all my little angels aka friends) I feel a lot better about it than I did pre-holiday.

What I’ve Been Loving

Whilst I’ve been in my temporary state of hiding, I’ve had the time to try a few new products / watch new shows / listen to new music. With the lack of my December Faves, I have a few new things that I’ve been loving over the past 6 weeks or so.

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One of which being these No. 141 lashes from Eyelure. Whilst I do like Eyelure lashes, I tend to gravitate more towards Unicorn or Backstage Lashes as I find the quality tends to be slightly better meaning I can get more than one use out of them. However, over the mad sale period, these lashes were reduced to half price (I think I paid around £3.00 for them) and I liked their wispy vibes. I have quite small features so tend to favour a pair of lashes that fan out towards the end, compared to the rounded-look and this pair does exactly that. I have actually ended up being really pleased with this little purchase. I’ve managed to wear this pair twice already as they aren’t overly dramatic but also finish off a makeup look well.

The next thing I’ve been loving is Grey’s Anatomy (as mentioned above). Honestly, it’s embarrassing how quickly I’ve arrived at Season 8 Episode 10 but I really freaking love it. I love all of the characters and the plot-lines are so sad but so bloody good at the same time. I’m completely in love with Patrick Dempsey, Eric Dane and Jesse Williams whilst identifying on a scary level with Cristina. I don’t really know what I’m going to do once I’ve finished all 13 seasons. I’m worried it will be similar to my post-PLL and Gossip Girl phases where I felt very lost for around 3 days after the finales. But for now, it’s constantly on.

 

I’ve also been loving The Greatest Showman soundtrack (and the film, obvs). I’ve had the soundtrack on repeat ever since Rewrite The Stars was first released on Spotify. If you know me, you’ll know I’ve been planning my wedding to Zac Efron ever since HSM came out so of course I’m going to love anything he does. Add this to the fact that the songs were written and composed by Pasek and Paul (my FAV musical theatre songwriters) and you have a winning combo. My favourite songs have to be The Greatest Show, The Other Side, This Is Me and Rewrite The Stars. Yes yes yes yes.

So that brings us pretty much up to speed. It’s been a chilled few weeks but they were definitely deserved and I now feel recharged and ready to get back into the real world. I promise I’ll start sticking to a blogging schedule once I sort my life out (lol).

Lots of love,

G X

Hello 2018!

Lifestyle

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The end of 2017 was celebrated with my best friend, large amounts of champagne and rounded off with a huge portion of chips. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect end to what has been an emotionally draining, yet emotionally rewarding, year. 2017 saw tears…LOTS of tears, both happy and sad. It also saw a whole lot of laughter and joy that I can only put down to the lovely people I have in my life. I’ve learned a lot about myself and how I handle certain situations and I have to say, I think I’ve kicked ass this year!!

There are many things I wish I had done, or hadn’t done. But each tiny moment pieced together to make the whirlwind of crazy that was my 2017.

It’s been a pretty hard year emotionally for me.

I’ve had my heart broken; I’ve had to learn to pick up the pieces and glue them back together. I’ve struggled severely with home sickness. I’ve doubted myself when I should have believed in myself. I’ve started new things and failed (I mean, just look at my Blogmas attempt!!). I’ve worked hard and received no reward. My kindness has been taken for weakness. I’ve felt insecure. I’ve taken risks that haven’t paid off.  I’ve struggled in discovering who I am and what path I should take. I’ve had to make ‘adult’ decisions that I’m definitely not ready to have made.

But, I’ve also lived. I’ve made so many memories that will stay with me for a very long time. I’ve travelled with my friends. I’ve revisited a dream role of mine. I’ve sang my heart out to hundreds of people. I’ve watched my friends grow and achieve things that make me so proud to call them friends. I’ve pretty much watched every single series on Netflix (yes, I am classing that as an achievement). I’ve dabbled in this thing called ‘adulting’, but the jury is still out on that one. I’ve put time into improving my blog and have been rewarded by a growing following. I’ve learnt the value of having true and honest friends that will always have your back no matter what. I’ve met some of my absolute, honest-to-God idols. I’ve thrived in environments that (excuse my language) scared the living shit out of me at first glance…and second.

My New Year’s Resolution is to keep growing. Not in the physical sense (that ship has most definitely sailed) but emotionally and mentally. I want to be challenged, I want to challenge. I want to fail just so I can get back up and try again. I want to laugh so hard my sides feel like they’re splitting apart and my heart feels like it might escape my chest. I want to achieve things I never thought possible. I want to be surrounded by so much love and positivity that I won’t remember the last time I cried.

I want 2018 to be my year.

Lots of love,

G X

What I Got For Christmas 2017

beauty, Lifestyle

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I’m going to start with the typical, blogger opening you’ve probably already read at least 20 times, but I can’t believe we’re almost at the end of 2017. Honestly, for me, this year has flown by. I’m a good-way into my second year at university (which means scary life decisions are looming) and I’m almost a third of the way through my final year as a teen (equally as scary!!). I just want to quickly apologise for my absolute failure of an attempt at doing ‘Blogmas’ – I had every good intention but the practicality of uni deadlines and the general life rush that occurs during the lead up to Christmas defeated me. I’m super sad because I had some really cute posts planned, but I guess that’ll give me a reason to attempt it again next year! Thankfully, life has calmed down a little bit now which means I’m back to blogging – I have a few posts planned for the next few weeks that are New Year-related so I hope you enjoy reading those. For now, I’d love to share with you a few of the bits I received for Christmas this year.

Sephora Favorites ‘Give Me Some Nude Lip’ – Sephora

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If you read my Christmas Wishlist post, you’ll know that this Sephora gift set was something I had my eye on. My parents went to New York just before Christmas so I was super excited at the prospect of getting a few makeup bits that are harder to get your hands on the in the UK. I think these sets are a really good way of testing out new brands before you pay full price for a product you may not really like. All of these lip products are gorgeous but my favourite (surprisingly for me) is the Ciaté London Liquid Velvet Lipstick. 

Sephora Favorites ‘Glow For It’ – Sephora

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I am so bloody excited about this set. Highlighters are up there with my favourite category of makeup products and I’ve been wanting to try some of these brands for the longest time. I’ve heard nothing but good things about BECCA highlighters and I’ve always wanted to try the Cover FX drops. On Christmas day, I combined both of them which left me with the most blinding highlight that I was LIVING for. I’m super excited to try out the rest of these products.

MAC Snowball Pigment and Glitter Kit – MAC Cosmetics

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Again, I’m super excited to have received this cute little MAC set. I’ve never tried their pigments before but I used the champagne-y colour yesterday and I was very happy with it. I’m excited to use the white sparkly pigment soon and am planning to use the gold glitter for New Year’s Eve. These pots should last me a little while as you only need to use the tiniest amount so I think they’re pretty good value. I know MAC have 10% off most products today in the Boxing Day Sales so it would definitely be worth trying to get your hands on this!! They also do a ‘Pink’ version which, as the name suggests, has more pink-y coloured pigments and glitters. I went with the ‘Gold’ set as I tend to wear oranges, browns and burgundys on my eyes.

Too Faced ‘Just Peachy Mattes’ Palette – Sephora

I’ve been obsessed with this palette ever since it dropped with the rest of the ‘Peaches and Cream’ range by Too Faced. Unbelievably, I’ve never tried Too Faced shadows before so I was really excited to receive this. The colours are right up my street – I could happily just use this palette forever. I used this palette on Christmas Day and was really pleased with the pigmentation and how easily the shadows blend. If you want me to recreate the look for a blog post (see below) let me know – I was pretty pleased with how it turned out!

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Grey and Black Nike Trainers – Nike

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These trainers are actually one of my favourite prezzies, as they were a complete surprise. I love the colours as they will literally go with any outfit and they’ve come into my life at the perfect ‘January gym-going’ time. They’re super comfy as they are meant for running, although I will probably just be wearing them on the day-to-day. I will definitely be getting a lot of use out of these as I pretty much live in trainers at both university and home. My Mom did well here!!

Striped Calvin Set – Calvin Klein

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If you know me, you’ll know I’m obsessed with Calvins. They’re just so comfy and I love the look of them, so I was really happy to get this set. I’ve never actually seen this pattern before and I fricking LOVE it. I’m super excited to add this set to my growing collection.

Burgundy Kate Spade Rucksack & Purse – Kate Spade NY

I’m still a little bit in shock about these two presents as I wasn’t expecting them at all. Recently, I’ve been obsessed with rucksacks and if you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’ll know I have a major soft-spot for anything Kate Spade. I’m absolutely in love with the colour of this bag and purse – it’s perfect for the Winter months. Also, I’ve been needing a new purse as my Ted Baker one has been used to death. So yay!!! Absolutely in love.

Those are a few of the lovely presents I received this year. What did you get?

I hope you had a great Christmas!

Lots of love,

G X

Instagram: @geeheasel

Twitter: @geeheasel

November Faves

beauty, Lifestyle

What I Wore: Velvet Purple Culottes / Faded Black Mom Jeans

This month I have two fashion favourites that I couldn’t decide between. The first are these GORGEOUS velvet culottes from Zara – to add to my ever-growing collection. I love culottes as I feel you can either dress them up and wear them for a night out or pair them with a cropped t-shirt and converse and you’re good to go for the day. I think they’re super festive and I know I’ll being getting a lot of wear out of them. Also, they retail for £19.99 in Zara which I think is amazing value!!

Another Zara purchase I’ve been living in throughout November has to be these black Mom jeans. I’ve ALWAYS been looking for the perfect pair of Mom jeans but I’ve never found any that look right. Because I’m so small, a lot of them swamp me and make me look shapeless but I think I have finally found what I’ve been searching for!! I paid around £30.00 for these jeans (don’t quote me) which I think is pretty reasonable. As you can see, I’ve teamed them with this cute D-ring striped belt from Missguided and a black cropped t-shirt from PLT.

What I Watched: Stranger Things

Although slightly predictable, Stranger Things was my obsession throughout early November. Granted, I finished the season over a two-day period but it still counts as being a November fave. I’d been waiting (for what felt like FOREVER) for season 2 to come out as I fell in love with the show from the very first episode. There is something so charming about each of the amazingly talented child actors that makes the slightly weird and creepy show so relatable. Season 2 did not disappoint plot-wise and I literally cannot wait for the third!!

What I Listened To: The Wedding Singer

This month has been filled with musical theatre for me, in relation to what I’ve been listening to. As I’ve mentioned, I directed a show which included a variety of songs from different musicals however I also found out that I’ll be playing the role of Julia in my university’s production of ‘The Wedding Singer’ in 2018. So, naturally, I’ve had the soundtrack on repeat. The music is super feel-good and I’m really excited to start rehearsals next week!! My favourite songs are ‘It’s Your Wedding Day’, ‘Not That Kind Of Thing’ and ‘All About The Green’.

What I Used: Soph X Makeup Revolution Highlighter Palette

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I’m not going to ramble on about this palette for too long as I’ve done a full-length review that you can read here. This has been my go-to product throughout November as pretty much all of the shades are (thankfully!!!) pale enough for me to wear so I can match my highlight to my eyeshadow – which makes me more excited than it probably should…

I’d definitely recommend getting your hands on this gorgeous palette if you can, it’s more than worth the £8.00 it retails for.

What I Did: 

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I hope your November has been amazing!!

Lots of love,

G X

Instagram: @geeheasel